Ascension through Duality

Traveler

2010-04-30T15:51:00.002-06:00

Hello, yes, it's been a long time since I've been here. I was on the big island of Hawaii for a couple of months and now on Kauai following the call to be here. I started doing videos of my stay at Pangaia which WAS an open community for people to learn community and sustainability but it is sadly no more. Creating videos is sooo much more fun that I encourage you to go to my channel at Youtube. Just click the title of this entry(Traveler) to go there. Aloha!

Shifts and Shit

2009-11-22T11:24:00.004-07:00

So much is going on right now...I find myself in a similar but less intense place where Brandon Bays was in her book The Journey. I have to move by the end of December, my job at Art Mart will be ending also, at least, I have no idea what is going to happen when Art Mart closes at the end of December so they can move. The owner has been less than communicative about what is going on. No one knows if they are going to have a job at the end of the year. I'm assuming that I won't be helping to move the store and I really don't want to help move the store as I will be moving myself too! And the worst...the one man I had hopes of creating a romantic relationship with went in another direction with someone else. I'm not mad about any of this, in fact, I'm pretty excited about having another opportunity to create what I want. And while I'm happy for my friend Lawrence and his new love, I'm truly bummed that I' not engaged in my own romantic relationship with the man of my dreams. To me, Lawrence is the perfect example of what I want in a man. It's just too bad he's not available and the sad part is-he was when I met him! I don't blame him for his choice and I'm glad he's happy. I'm just feeling stuck in being sad about having what I wanted slip through my fingers. I also know the more I dwell in the 'not having', the more my situation will stay the same; the more I will create the 'not having'. I manifested what I wanted in a living situation~ rent in exchange for something other than $$ although, I neglected to include what I wanted my roommate(s) to be like. And now I get to do it again but this time be more specific and include everything. I know I can do it again. It's really just re-patterning myself in a new, more productive habit. That's what I like about the Journey process~it does that-the re patterning! I have only scratched the surface of my 'shit' as they call it~yes they don't worry about being pc at the Journey Intensive...They call it like it is! lol ~and I can tell they is a lot more to let go of. I feel like I'm jumping around here...the more I try to express myself here, the more I realize how words do little to convey what is really being said. I am starting to see the holographic picture of things...different perspectives adding dimension to every situation I observe. And that's another thing I've noticed that's changing about me...I feel myself being the observer without judgment and a participant at the same time. There is a lot of chaos going on around me but I'm ok with it, even my own. I know everything is going to be ok. Some aspects of my life just suck right now and I think that the energy of this day in general is why I am so in my shit right now! lol Maybe I'm feeling everyone else too. My own perspective of 'I'm so bummed I don't have a (soul)mate' is drawing to me those people who are also in a negative perspective of their situation. I've noticed, when I feel good and have a positive outlook, I don't notice the people who are in a negative perspective, I'm not drawn to them or they go the other way. That's what I'm talking about!!! Noticing those kinds of things. It is not as easy describing my experience in words as it used to be because of all the perspectives I'm seeing. It would almost be easier to paint a picture. I have thought of that to describe some of my dreams~painting a picture. One of those things I just think of but never do... I feels shifts going on. I did a Journey process for a mutual friend of me and my housemate that was staying here for the last week. I felt her shift when she got to the heart of her source. I felt it! I knew she was there and what a relief it was for her. I don't know why I feel this depression. It's not mine for sure. I'm not depressed about anything but I do know that before I am going to manifest what I want this time, I have to do an Abundance Journey and clear away my limiting beliefs that I have surrounding abundance and prosperity and clear my cellular memory also and replace with new positive programming. We must empty our emotional bodies of all the negative baggage we've been unintentionally carrying around with us. All that stuff is coming to the surface anyway, so we might as well help it along with Journeying. This is crucial to ascension. I believe that I am going through this now in order to help others through it in the not-too-distant-future. I know the more I share about it, the more people will want to know about it. My own experience of it is ongoing and I am experiencing a noticeable shift going on in myself. I feel myself being freed of a lot of 'shit' and some of the limiting beliefs are gone with it. The old limiting beliefs have been replaced by loving, supportive beliefs about myself. That's why I'm not too bummed about having to move and find a new job. Now the task remains to pull myself together regarding a partner and get over losing the 'perfect' guy to someone else. I was thinking about this...maybe he wasn't as perfect for me as I thought and right now there is just no way to know because I have not had the opportunity to ask him what he wants. Maybe we don't want the same thing. I make that allowance to help me move past my pain. I really need a journey process around this to help me do what has not become standard for me yet and that is to allow myself to move through the experience by feeling my emotions, saying what needs to be said, forgiving, and healing the experience and the root experience that this has triggered. I know that as I do more of this work, I will not continue to slap more 'shit' onto myself by stuffing my feelings. Ok, I think I'm done although I could have expounded a lot on all of the tangents here. lol I think I need to do this as a video...

Evolution Revolution Love

2009-11-04T09:56:00.006-07:00

This past weekend, I attended The Journey Intensive that was hosted by Skip Lackey. There is much to tell about The Journey that I haven't talked too much about here. I won't go into the whole process but basically I cleared some emotional baggage I've been carrying around with me for quite some time. The weekend was fabulous! Skip was funny and animated; his background in film and tv humorously coloring our weekend as he explained the process and other things related to our healing. I had had 2 processes already. My first one with Michelle who now works in the Journey office in Louisville and then one with a lady in California over the phone. Both issues that came up I had done previous work around so both processes I felt were subtle but I did feel shifts in my being related to the issues. I had more patience overall after the first and the second was relating to my last relationship(romantic). Before the process, I would imagine this man and he would always be angry and then after the process, he always has a smile on his face. This weekends processes were subtle also but the last couple of days I have weeped on and off most of each day. I knew this might be part of it. It's residual 'crap' coming to the surface to be released. Knowing that however, has not made it any easier to go through. Monday I had to go to work but that actually helped. I was able to keep myself busy enough to keep my thoughts off of the stuff coming up and to enjoy the music being played in the store that day and the customers coming in that I helped. I actually had almost $400 in sales! We made our sales goal so I'll be getting some more Art Mart bucks woo hoo! Free Christmas $$ gotta love it! Anyway, yesterday my housemate barked at me and fortunately for me, knowing that this was coming from a deeper place and I was just the catalyst that triggered it, I was able to allow myself to feel the hurt I felt and then let it go and forgive him. That quick. It wasn't a great start to my day and I did my best not to dwell on it. I instead went downtown to Pearl St Mall where I love to go to people watch. I walked the loop I love that starts by the Dushanbe Teahouse and follows the creek to Eben G. Fine park, under Canyon blvd. and into Settlers Park. Then I follow Pearl St. all the way down the mall and back to the bus station. I had my nano with me and listened to Deva Premal's Essence repeating 'Tumahre Darshan' over and over as it is my favorite song on that cd. That happens to be what I'm listening to right now! So, to get back to the weekend...I didn't feel too bad after Saturdays process. In fact, I felt so good that I decided to go trick or treating with my son. He was so cute as Zorro even though he was missing the two things that made Zorro, Zorro; the mask and the sword! lolololol! He's my baby and I just love him so! Sunday, we did a physical journey which is different than the emotional process but just as powerful and effective. To back up a bit, for the last couple of weeks or so, I have been waking up with this pain deep in my heal. Going to see Dr. Laura( my chiro) has helped but it kept coming back. When I pressed into the middle of my heal, I would feel this pain very deep and I would feel it when I would walk. Sunday morning, I immediately noticed that it wasn't there. My body obviously knew what issue was going to be coming up that day. During lunch that day and before we did our physical process, I went for a walk when I was done eating. I knew I was in search of something and I thought it was food even though I had already eaten. I allowed myself to be drawn to where I needed to be and I ended up at the mall in Longmont. I found the food court and noticed a massage place. I went over to the display window that they had to look at the reflexology posters they had in the window and looked at the middle of the heal. The middle of the heal is where you access the sexual organs. I thought that was interesting and wondered what might be going on there since I stopped going to see any kind doctor quite a few years ago. I went back to the conference center where the Journey Intensive was being held. During my physical journey, I went to my uterous. I had no idea why I was there but I did see a part of it that didn't look so great. I then had a memory come up of my first sexual experience. The feeling associated with it was pain. I had to laugh because we are supposed to tell our partner what the memory was that was associated with the area of our body we were in. The funny part was that this man is and probably was then, gay. Obviously, to me, that was not why I was there. The trauma wasn't associated with him being gay but instead it was the physical pain of not being ready for intercourse that I was there to heal. I went through my process and let it go and I then understood why my short sojourn had taken me to the Longmont mall. Cool huh? I love hindsight. I like it even better when I can recognize what I need to see in the moment. I'm sure I have had issues attached to that first experience. I think that is the crap that is coming up for me because I sent an email to Lawrence yesterday that could have pushed him away from me but luckily didn't(phew)! If you read a previous blog, you will find out that he is a man that I definitely want to get to know. In one night opened his heart to me that allowed mine to open to him. We just enjoyed the space of Being, together. He honored me and touched a place deep inside me where I feel my connection to him. I have yet to dedicate a blog to him about that night and I'm not sure if I will. But anyway, my point is that with all my stuff coming up, I should have known better to send an email like that. It wasn't really bad, but it did show me to be somewhat insecure about when I would see him next. After I sent it, I received a prompt reply from him to tell me no worries, that he is just being pulled in a lot of different directions right now after being gone on a trip for 3 weeks to the Grand Canyon. I did feel better to get that and to know that he hadn't forgotten about me. I just need to exercise a bit more patience. A funny thing, I didn't say anything in my email about ultimatums, but he did and I can't help but think that he must feel our connection too because is did cross my mind as I was writing my email to him that if he didn't add me as a friend on facebook soon, I would just forget about him. You have to understand here...I got him for one night and then he left on a trip and I haven't seen him since although we both expressed the desire to see each other again. It's been 3 months tomorrow that I met him and I have waited quite patiently to see him again. He also meantioned something else in his email that was in answer to, again something I only thought, my wonder if I was being ignored because of something I do or don't do. I am amazed at this man! We definitely have a connection that I can see that he must feel too to have answered two unwritten thoughts that until now, I kept to myself. I am so grateful still to have met him and I know that when I come out of this funk that I will have evolved in this revolution to(of) Love. I hope you listen to the video I added here. This Revolution has just begun! I am so glad I have found the Journey! Regardless of any of the crap I have to go through to come out whole on the other side is worth going through the process! While I was helping my partner with his process, he told me a few times that he felt I was very good at doing this~he really connected with my voice. It is my desire to help anyone who is ready to dump some emotional garbage/baggage with doing some processes for some kind of trade. You only have to be ready to face your shit and let it go. And, there is no way anyone can get hurt from doing this. Anyone could get overwhelmed and bail out and it would be OK. This isn't therapy, it's better 'cause it actually works! That's all for now. Enjoy!!: ) and make sure you scroll to the bottom to see the astromony photo and art quote for the day.

Deja Vu

2009-10-11T14:48:00.004-06:00

I find myself in a similar place in my life as I was 5 years or so ago. Some of the same and different people in my life, the same decisions to make about my life. But this time, I am a different person; wiser, older, happier, more balanced. It was in 2004 that I started working at Art Mart, an great place to buy local art that is reasonably priced. It was also that year, just before Christmas, that I met who I thought was "my soulmate"~you know that person that you gel with, who finishes your thoughts, someone you feel a real connection with. Well, he turned out to be a predator and Art Mart had a different owner who was not the easiest person to work for. I'm not sure what happened to Charles but Art Mart is a completely different place except for RE Ann whom I worked with the 1st time! What a coincidink huh? When she told me that they would be hiring, I didn't take it seriously and then I thought that something would be better than nothing and I was feeling done being broke! It's the first job I have applied for since quitting the chiropractic gig back at the end of May. I got to enjoy the summer and do what I want and now that cold weather is here, I'm ready to work again, supporting local artists for someone who is never there at the office with people I like! Art Mart was a great place to meet interesting people and help them fulfill their desire to find a suitable gift for whomever. I got to know the store pretty well and knew where pretty much everything was. Anyway, last night was my first night back and it was so surreal! RE trained me and it was almost like I had never left. It had the feeling that I was right where I was supposed to be and that was the surreal part.

So the crossroads I find myself at are that I am still looking for that Soulmate to share my life with who is my perfect compliment and I his. Someone who inspires me to be my best and to strive for my highest potential. Someone who displays enormous integrity and loves himself. I think I already met this man but to give proper credit and honor to the experience of meeting him, that is a blog all by itself. His name is Lawrence.

The other major life decision I see before me is what is my purpose? and how do I live it? am I already living it and just don't know it? I think the answer to that is yes. I feel that the "work" I do on myself and the help I give others is part of it but not the whole thing. I feel as though when our Star brothers and sisters are able to finally show themselves to the whole world that that is then I will know the rest of my purpose.

One piece of info I would like to share is my experience with 'The Journey' process. It probably needs it's own blog as well but I would like to briefly share that I feel different~lighter if you will and more at ease after experiencing it. One of the processes I did involved revisiting my feelings regarding Charles which I had already done a lot of work around. Before the process, I could imagine Charles in front of me and I always felt resistence(fear) and he would look angry. After the process, I imanged him and he was smiling and the resistence was gone. It was a subtle feeling but it was better. I realized in the middle of the process that the work I had done around it had helped immensely but had not completely removes the button called 'Charles'. It had left me in a place of complacency that my guide, Susan, saw immediately and helped me identify so that I could complete healing it. I have included a link to The Journey website. I am going to the intensive weekend training on 10/31 and 11/1. I can't wait to go and continue to heal myself. This is empowering work that you do yourself. You notice results very quickly. Real tools, genuine healing, lasting change. That is their "motto" and it's also my experience. I half expect Charles to come walking through the door of Art Mart while I'm there to have the opportunity to clear the air and tell him my truth. If that does happen, I will most definitely write about it. Right now, I have to get ready to go to work~woohoo!

Admission

2009-10-06T10:36:00.002-06:00

I have to admit, although I had an (excuse) for not writing for over a month, it has been difficult for me to come here and write even though I have things to share! Writing is just not my best forte. I have made some progress with myself and I manifested a FREE place to live only because that is what I truly wanted and I was honest with myself. It's not completely free, I just don't have to exchange money for this gift. I give a lot of myself to the animals that live here,(it's so nice to live with animals again!)and I help out around the house for my friend that I live with. If you don't ask, how does the universe know what you want? It doesn't! You have to have the courage to be honest about what you really want and then ask for it.

So many amazing events happened for me over my birthday and even before that. Why haven't I shared? Well, I used a LOT of excuses not to come here. There really is no good reason. Part of it is laziness. Yes, I can admit I have my foibles! LOL I love that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do and be a little lazy. Up until now, I haven't been very good at managing my time because I have so much of it not having a job and all. I know there has to be some kind of fear here also but I haven't discovered what it is. Writer's block? Maybe. I find other 'more important' things to do. Sometimes I come here and don't know what to write about or I know what I want to write and as soon as I sit down, it leaves me! Talk about frustration!

I guess my point is and it's the thought for the day, the best relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. It is the foundation for all other relationships. An important part of that is to accept and love all parts of yourself even if you don't like something. If you find something you don't like, only you can change it. That is what I have been doing for the past 25 years or so...it wasn't until the last few that I could come to accept all of my foibles and laugh at them. I love myself. I love who I have created myself to be and I love that I am Source!

On the Edge

2009-08-08T10:26:00.006-06:00

So much has happened in the last few weeks. I attended a workshop for Inner Expansion to learn how to "heal" people from energetic attachments (souls who have passed on but not moved on)who become attached to us because of concepts and beliefs that we hold onto. Long story short, I was very disappointed with the training and had this ominous feeling that something wasn't quite right. I discussed my concerns with our facilitator and felt that he needs to do some more research on the Laws of Creation before he can teach this effectively. To back up a bit, I am only looking for ways to heal or improve myself that are EMPOWERING and can be taught to people to do on their own. I KNOW that anyone can heal from anything if given the chance. I thought that going to this workshop was going to open a door for me to help other people heal themselves but I was mistaken so now I feel like I'm back at square 1. When I told Howard that there has to be a way for people to do this on their own, he told me that no, their isn't because they would get "spooked". Well, I feel that if he really knew the Laws of Creation well enough and knew more about soul energy and the laws surrounding them that he would have figured it out. I don't agree with him and in fact, I figured out on my own, using my guidance, how to release these souls to their (angels) without inviting them into my body to communicate through me and the concepts or beliefs that attracted them there all at once! So, maybe the way he's doing it can't be done by oneself but using intent is 90% of it! It was obvious to me that he needs to focus on just teaching people about their guidance and how to communicate with it instead of his healing technique. I am not bashing him here. He's doing great things with inner expansion but I think he's just getting ahead of himself.

I left my job working for the chiropractor because 1, I was not happy doing it and 2 I felt like he was pushing me for results and 3, I got tired of his micro-managing and not saying one thing and doing something else. He'd say that he just wants more people to serve but then when someone doesn't start care with him for whatever reason, he completely shuts them out and I've seen him do it and I'm not the only one to notice this. I don't think he even realizes he does this or he's in complete denial that he does. I've had more than one person in his practice that has told me that he pushes too hard for more members and that they feel like he just wants more money. He is a great chiropractor and person with a wonderful family but it also feels as though he's really not interested in helping him clients get beyond the point where they need to see him. What he is doing is a great thing and he knows that our emotions get trapped in the body and manifest and dis-ease and subluxations but their is a better way to deal with it that people CAN practice on their own without having to see someone else for their healing. I am truly grateful to have had my spine healed from the work that he does and to have worked with him. As I gain experience in different jobs, I find myself re-evaluating what it is that I want.

After dealing with the fall-out of my "inner expansion weekend", I was talking with a new friend that coincidentally came from my connection with Howard that told me about The Journey. She gave me the book called "The Journey" written by Brandon Bays that is an account of her journey of self-discovery and healing that she discovered by accident. It was very moving and brought me to tears as I related with her personal story and triumph over emotional issues. I resonated completely with her "process" that she developed as a result of her experience and know that this is the answer to self-healing and it's so simple! It is better done with a partner but all the work is done by yourself! She has helped many people heal themselves of cancer, tumors and other "ailments". She herself had a basketball sized tumor that she was told would have to be surgically removed. She didn't agree and proceeded to heal herself with this process that she discovered. Why do I talk about this and what does it have to do with ascension? Well, part of the process of ascension for people is that we must heal our bodies and "dump" our emotional crap in order to raise our frequencies to ascend. Dis-ease is a lower frequency and keeps people in a lower frequency. The emotional garbage we hang onto is the cause of it. So, simple, get rid of the garbage, heal the body! This process is only for people who are ready to face their emotional "stuff" and truly heal. It's perfect for anyone consciously on the ascension path. Not everyone will be ready for this. It is intense work and not to be taken lightly. Please check out the website I have linked with this post. If you decide to register, please let them know you heard of it from me. Thanks. There is a workshop coming up in Longmont on the 31st of October and 1st of November. I plan on being there but also doing some sessions before then. I know this is what I've been looking for and is the key to my healing. And I'm ready to feel what I've been not allowing myself to feel for too long and ready to leap of the edge into the abyss to experience who I really am. As soon as I have my first experience with it, I'll write about it here. It's not done in one "process" and everyone had different "stuff" to process. I am ready to get rid of it all. I discovered with the meeting of a new friend, that my heart isn't as open as I thought and I have a lot of "stuff" I need to get rid of. I feel a deep connection to this person and I want to cultivate this new love I feel to the fullest and in order to do that I need to dump a lot of emotional garbage. I will keep you posted on what happens ; )

Hiatus

2009-07-30T12:01:00.001-06:00

I will not be posting anything for an unknown amount of time. I do not have internet at my home at the moment and don't know when I will. I see you when I get back unless I get a wild hair to do some blogging at the library.

Donations and other stuff

2009-07-21T15:13:00.005-06:00

So, as you can see, I added a donation button to my sidebar. I'm not going to ask for your money but if you like what I have to say and you want to keep reading more, then by all means please donate something. I won't feel bad if you don't but it can't hurt to have it there. I am not working at the moment and am quickly running out of funds and I haven't paid my internet bill for 2 months now or my rent(yikes!)I am in the process of educating myself to do something that will empower people to communicate with their own guidance(and make $$ at it). I learned this technique myself 7 months ago and it's pretty amazing to have a conversation with my guidance(angels). I haven't talked about it yet because I wanted to build a foundation for who I am first. I have many sources to share with links to websites etc. but all in due time. I am toying around with some ideas for this blog on what kind of format to use. I have considered just using it as a daily journal to update people on my progress of using the Laws of Creation. I have considered using it just as a teaching tool for Ascension or using it just for promoting the sources of teachings that have gotten me where I am. I think I will make a new survey and ask YOU what you think I should do with it. What would you like to read about. I can tell you right now, I am not interested in all the drivel that people talk about on their blogs. I couldn't care less about current events or what people think about them. I must be something about ascension. I feel that is the most important event going on right now. And it is going on right now even if you don't believe it is. I know that may sound crazy but everything connects to that to be sure. What matters most right now is that our thoughts change to what we want the world to be like and then talk about THAT and do the things that will propel us in that direction. Make sure your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment. That is sooo crucial right now. And it is what I am practicing. It doesn't take long to manifest these days so be careful what you ask for. I am not an expert on ascension or the Laws of Creation but I am willing to take the leap of faith necessary to be a pioneer for others to show that you DON'T have to work your ass off to live, you don't have to have a lot of $$ to be happy and the Laws of Creation: The Law of Attraction, The Law of Deliberate Intent, The Law of Allowance and The Law of Balance all work. Someday, people will look back on these times the way we look back to 500 years ago, astounded that the people thought the world was flat, and say they can't believe that people didn't know about the Laws of Creation or even how to use them; )

A Reminder...

2009-07-19T10:28:00.003-06:00

I know that we all have our own beliefs but this is not just a belief and a belief is just a thought you continue to think. This is something I know and I know because it is my experience. We are all Divine and One with each other and our Primary Source. Source has many labels...God, Allah, All That Is, etc. etc. It doesn't matter what the label is, it is all the same and in the end, the truth shall be known as only the truth will be left standing when all else that is erroneous will fall away. I can remember thinking a long time ago that God didn't exist because of all of the pain I went through and all of the pain that existed for others as well. That thought was based on the belief that (God) was in charge of everything and that we were just pawns in an immense game; that we had no control over what happened in the world. I spent a short time as an atheist, angry with (God) that he didn't do anything about all the "bad" people in the world and what they did. I don't remember when my turning point was. I had these thoughts throughout Jr. High and High School. I remember having a conversation with my Dad sometime in High School about him being an agnostic~ someone who neither believes nor disbelieves in God. I think I decided that it would be better to neither disbelieve or believe (in God) than not at all. And that's when I became an Agnostic. My Dad to this day is still an agnostic although he does believe in a power greater than ourselves though he prefers not to label it. After High School I left for the Air Force and I think after I got out in 1986 that I changed my mind again and decided that there is something greater than ourselves but I was still unsure of the details. I didn't like calling it "God". "God" had a negative idea attached to it probably from going to Church with my parents when I was young until about 8 yo. I hated Church and thought it was boring and didn't agree with what they were teaching. My mom has always been my beacon and my source for most of the foundation of information that I share. I know she was part of not most of the reason I started on a path of self discovery. Everything she shared with me was so interesting and captivated my attention. I think I intuitively knew that there had to be more to life that what I could perceive with my 5 senses. I have always been empathic although I wasn't as aware of it as I am now. I didn't always trust it as I do now either. So to end a long story, I can relate to people who are atheists and who are agnostic and I have no contempt for them because as I said earlier...only the truth shall be left standing. I've been there and if it hadn't been for my Mom and my relentless pursuit of information that could help me change and become someone I loved, I would still be there. I used to hate who I was and that attracted people to me that reinforced that thinking. Going into the USAF was a huge turning point for me. I remember thinking to myself that no one there knew me and didn't know what I had been through. In looking back, I can see in hindsight that it was a very powerful thought I had had. It was what allowed me to start being the person I wanted to be although it didn't start without some pitfalls. The point is that the thoughts we think aren't always the truth. It isn't until we have an experience of something that we know the truth. Our (head)thoughts can lie to us, but experience always tells the truth. My experiences cover a lot of ground from dreams that I've had where I felt the most incredible feeling of Love I've ever had (that I have never felt anything close to in waking life) to the intuitive "hits" I get about things that are about to happen or be said to the conversations I have with my guidance. You can call me full of shit but I know in my heart that we ARE all ONE and for someone who doesn't believe that, isn't that a better thought to have rather than to believe something less?

More on the Ascension

2009-07-18T19:30:00.004-06:00

Ascension means to rise above. For us it means the end of duality. On August 1, 2004. I distinctly got the impression that humanity was given a choice. It was time to get off the fence and choose the path of light or path of dark. There is no "wrong" choice. At the time I did not realize that this choice had come from our planet Earth. For it is the Earth that has decided to ascend. Being as we live here, and we are her caregivers, we must make the choice to either ascend or stay in the physical realm. It really comes down to what you're ready for. I know I'm ready to leave the physical realm. Our process of ascension will take us from the third dimension to the fifth. The Fifth dimension is where everything manifests from. As soon as you decide you want something, it is there in the fifth dimension. We must learn how to use the Laws of Creation consciously as part of the Ascension process. We were not meant to stay in the loop of reincarnation for ever! But there are powers that be that have slowed our evolution on purpose. I will not get into that right now, as that is a " conspiracy theory". The Ascension process is simple. Just do your best to raise your vibration or frequency and keep it high. Some of the things I have done and to do are: eat organic food; as much raw food as possible, cleanse my body using a negative ion foot bath, avoid people with a negative mindsets and "control freaks", spend time in nature, continually work on improving myself, avoid sugar, listen to music and stop watching TV. I recently got rid of my TV. TVs, especially the older ones, emit positive ions and negative frequencies, neither of which are good for you. An important thing to remember is to use your feelings to determine what is good for you and what is not. When it comes to music, how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel alive, happy and uplifted? Or does it make you feel anxious and depressed? Duality is about experiencing more of who you are through contrast; good, bad, right, wrong, black, white etc. etc. We cannot determine what is good or bad, right or wrong for someone else. We can only do it for ourselves. That is why our justice system does not work. We should just let karma do its job! Of course there are areas of "agreement" that we all have. Our justice system is loosely based on that. Anyway, I don't want to get into all of that. That is not what I'm here to discuss. The point is to create a world that works and is the best for all concerned in the only way to do that is to become aware of the Laws of Creation and to use them intentionally. And just so you know, we are always using the Laws of Creation, just not intentionally. They are Universal Laws that are always working! It's just like gravity. It has always been there, and it didn't just start working because Newton discovered it! This is no different. Remember, the world used to be flat. That's enough for now, I will continue tomorrow.

In love and light, Riox

Clarification of a few things...

2009-07-18T09:08:00.003-06:00

I'd like to clarify a few things about myself. I am not here to tell people how to live or what they should do. Everyone is fully capable of fixing their own "problems". I'm here to open the door, but you must walk through on your own. None of you need my help, but it's okay to ask for it once in a while. I am here to share my experience of life while on the path to Ascension. Sometimes I may share things that you don't agree with, but that's okay. I don't always like what I see other people doing or what I hear come out of their mouth. But it's not up to me to change them. You can only change yourself, and you have to want to change. I don't really care what other people think about me, but it is interesting to hear what they think about what I have to say.
As I read back through some of my old blogs, I realize that I may not have been clear about a few things or given all of the details. I will do my best to review past blogs and update them as new information is always making itself available.
It is my desire to eventually hold classes on Ascension; incorporating some of the teachings I have learned over the years. At the moment, I am not employed. I decided to take a leap of faith and trust in the universe and myself to provide what I need to live. So sometimes that manifests as odd jobs that come up like designing a business card or doing some house cleaning.
I have been coming up with ideas to write about. So I'm going to do my best to blog every day. And to keep my site fresh.

Sadness

2009-07-11T09:34:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, like today, I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. The only thing that keeps me going is thinking how awful it would be for my son to be without me and me without him. I feel like I could really do without people period. How can people be so insensitive to each other???! I just want all of this to be over with already!( I want to ascend!) Just so sad today...I was going to have a job walking a neighbor's dog (who really likes me by the way) and out of the blue, she calls me to say that she can't invite anybody new into her life right now with all that she's been through and she's very sensitive and "feels my judgment". Well, I never felt like I judged her, I mean she's free to live her life the way she wants~I don't care! I can't remember telling her anything that she could have construed as judgmental. I don't know if I'm crying because I feel misunderstood or if I'm just sad that I missed out on an opportunity to make some money doing something I love doing(being with animals). Probably both. Oh well, my loss in walking the dog and her loss because I would have respected the boundries she has. Her dog really loved Hober too. Too bad, now I feel like I can't take him over there to even visit him. How do I tell my son? I know this isn't the end of the world but right now, it feels like it because that was going to be the start of a new income. I am jobless right now. I have vowed to myself not to "work" for anyone else. I want to be self employed because I just can't deal with other people's crap(stuff) anymore. People don't walk their talk and it bugs me. All I want to do is pay off all my debt, go to Hawaii and become part-owner of Pangaia and teach the Laws of Creation with appropriate trades and exchanges. Is that so bad? I honestly don't want to "work" at all anymore. I have spent most of my life since I was 16 working for other people that has gotten me nowhere! Why can't I have what I want?!

My purpose

2009-06-30T20:41:00.000-06:00

So I have come to realize that it's not so much my purpose to teach ascension as it is to teach the Laws of Creation. I was reminded not to long ago that I should only teach what I have experience with. I have experience with using the Laws of Creation consciously. That is how I got to Hawaii. I will still talk about Ascension, but learning the Laws of Creation is very important right now, if one is to ascend. Actually, the Laws of Creation and ascension go hand-in-hand. So lets start at the beginning. First and foremost, we are Creators. We are all higher dimensional beings who have chosen to drop down into the lower vibrations of the physical dimension to experience more of who we are through the experience of duality or contrast. Few of us, if any remember planning out this lifetime that we are now in. We mapped out all of the experiences that we wanted to have ahead of time, leaving room for free choice. We also chose helpers or guides to accompany us on this lifetime's adventure. Then we also chose to forget what we mapped out what we wanted to experience because what would be the point of remembering? Living in this 3-D. Pysical dimension is solely for the purpose of experiencing more of who we really are from experience of duality. Most of us accomplish that by making choices in ignorance of the Laws of Creation. In other words, we make a mistake by choosing something that we don't want. And in that experience of choosing and realizing that it's something that we don't want, we are meant to turn around and look in the other direction and say,"Oh, what I want must be in the other direction." More often than not, instead of looking in the other direction for what we want, we get mired in our problem of having something that we don't want. I myself am guilty of that! So I will do my best to educate you about the Laws of Creation from my own experience.

So let me tell you how I got to Hawaii. It actually started back when I first started working for the chiropractor Daniel Knowles. Right before I started working for the Knowles, I was working at a gas station. I knew it was a temporary job, but it wasn't until I started receiving chiropractic care and going to the office that I decided I wanted to work for Danny and Richelle. The energy, going into the office, was so lovely that I wanted to work there. I started Care in August of 2007, and by middle of December that year I was working for them. That was really my first experience of using The Laws of Creation, but it wasn't a good enough example that I could do it again. I needed to learn more information about the Laws of Creation. The source I found to be the best for me to learn about the Laws of Creation came from Abraham channeled by Esther Hicks, written by Jerry Hicks.

So some how I get on an e-mail list for Jennifer McLean. she is one of many spiritual teachers that has information to share. She did an interview series called Healing with the Masters. I didn't get to listen to them all, but some of them are very good. She also passed on a link to enter an essay contest to win a house in Hawaii. I entered the contest. For $101, you can write a 101 word essay to enter to win the House. after entering the contest, I was also invited to enter to win a free weekend at their "Castle". The castle is a bed-and-breakfast where Sherry and her husband John live. John is the man who built the house they are giving way and who also built the castle. Unfortunately, they ran out of money to finish building the castle. The outside is done, but the rooms need to be finished. Anyway, if you invite others to enter to win, and they use your e-mail address as a referral, you get entered again. Well Jennifer had e-mailed this to her entire e-mail list, so she won the free weekend! So Jennifer decided to offer a workshop while she was in Hawaii. When I got the first e-mail telling me about it I pretty much ignored it. My first thought was, "Well, I probably can't afford the cost of her workshop and how the hell would I get to Hawaii?" I pretty much forgot about the workshop. So couple of weeks went by, and I got another e-mail. This one read, "last chance to hang out with me in Hawaii." For some reason, I paid more attention to this one and I opened it up. And when I found out she was only charging $87 for her workshop I got real excited! I started thinking how great it would be to go to Hawaii for a few days. Her workshop was a one-day intensive on removing blocks to abundance. It was pretty much what I had been asking my guidance for help with. I knew that if I was going to get there, I had to use the Laws of Creation consciously. I paid attention to the excitement that I felt about going to Hawaii. At the time I was unaware that I was going to have to make a choice between going to Hawaii and going to see my daughter for her high school graduation. I just knew that I had to get to Hawaii. I wasn't sure why, but once I was there, I knew that it was time for me to start teaching. I had two weeks from the time that decided to go to Hawaii, until I left. I knew from reading Abraham's books that I needed to let go of the "how". Since this was the first time that I was consciously using the Laws of Creation, I was a little bit nervous. I also knew that any doubts or fear that I had would stop my manifestation in its tracks. So I did my best to think of how wonderful it would be to be in Hawaii. And I hung on to that feeling. I told everybody I knew that I was going to Hawaii with one exception. I did not tell one person, specifically that I know of, that I was going because I knew she would immediately questioned how I was getting there. What money? Isn't that expensive? I didn't want to have to explain myself to someone who doesn't understand the Laws of Creation what I was doing to get there. So basically, what I did was: I kept my energy high by thinking about how wonderful it would be to be there and maintaining that good feeling that I had. I did something every day to move myself in the direction of going to Hawaii. I would go online and check air fare prices, or I would talk to a friend, who traveled a lot to get their advice about buying tickets. I did different things, small actions every day, that helped me manifest my trip to Hawaii. The one instance I can recall where I tried to make something happen was when I rented my car before I bought my airline ticket. I ended up paying more at the end, because I did not have an accurate time of when to pick up and drop off my car. During the two weeks before I left for Hawaii, I saw the doors opened for me to go on this trip. My trip had to fit within my budget. After searching online for a place to stay, I remember telling a friend that I was having a difficult time finding a place to stay that was fitting within my budget. He gave me the name of her friend that he knew in Hawaii, and his phone number. He did not tell me where I was calling. It turned out he gave me the number of a place called Pangaia on the Big Island. They are a raw, sustainable community very near the eastern most point of big Island. I called them and told them my situation. They offered me a tent for $20 a night. I was very happy with that! $20 a night would fit within my budget, and I was willing to camp while I was there. In communicating with them, they offered me an upgrade. I could have the guest hut for little bit more. I wrote back saying that I would be happy with the tent for $20 a night. And that I would wait until I got there to see if I could afford more. When I got there, they had all the agreed as a group to let me have the guest hut since it wasn't being used for the same $20 a night I would've paid for the tent. I was ecstatic! I realized in the moment that the universe had provided me with better than I could dreamed of myself! That is what happens when we allow the universe to provide what we have asked for, without worrying about how. Basically, I followed the principals of the Laws of Creation CONSCIOUSLY. We have all followed the principals but usually UNCONSCIOUSLY. That's all I have for now. If you have specific questions, you can email me or post a comment. Here is the link for the win-a-house-in-Hawaii: http://www.winhawaiianhome.com/tellafriend-winhawaiihome-hawaii.html Please make sure you enter my email address in the referral box: riox9966@yahoo.com.

Frequency

2009-06-13T17:56:00.000-06:00

Healing and the V.I.B.E. Machine
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

A few years ago, I worked at an office of a psychotherapist who had a VIBE machine. A VIBE machine is a collaboration of technologies from Tesla, Rife and a couple of other scientist. VIBE stands for Vibrational Integrated Bio-photonic Energizer. The VIBE machine is an electrical device that brings the vibrational level of the body back to its original state of being.

To back up a tad...

Everything has a vibration or frequency. That includes every cell of your body, every plant, rock, atom etc. It also pertains to symbols. Everything is included. Dis-ease is nothing more than the accumulation of lower frequencies that have collected in the body. It doesn't matter what label you give it, cancer, MS, a cold. All dis-ease is the same. The various labels is has been given are related to the various ways it shows symptoms. Yes, even what we label disease has its own frequency. Our amazing bodies have the ability to remove and eliminate lower frequencies when natural body processes are allowed to function without interference.

"Modern medicine" will never find a "cure" for the various dis-eases that plague our society because 1. "modern medicine" does not treat the person, it treats the dis-ease. It does not take into account that everything is frequency related and 2. Even if it did find a "cure", it would never become public knowledge because it would mean the end research and all of the funds that it brings in. We all KNOW, even if you would rather not admit this, that there is corruption going on in almost every aspect of our existence, deliberate mis-information given out so people don't know what to believe and deliberate mis-allocation of "research funds" to who-knows-where. You've all heard of the $900 screwdriver? Healing, therefore, must become a matter of responsibility for the individual. Do not rely on your "doctor" to heal you because 1. he doesn't live in your body, and 2. if he were to "heal" you, he would be out of business. Alopathic medicine perpetuates illness!!!!!! NOT healing. It is a STATISTIC that more people die in hospitals than leave healthy. Hospitals are not a place of healing, they are a place to DIE!

That said, it is time to re-educate ourselves. There are many many many different methods for true healing. Everyone must find there own path of healing. It should start with changing the frequencies to which you relate. This is leading to another blog entirely but it is related to symbols which I mentioned above.

Getting back to the VIBE machine. It is not a cure but can help in bringing the body back to a frequency where healing can occur. I have used this machine. It does work. However, since it is not a cure in and of itself, the individual MUST be doing something on his or her own to raise their frequency for permanent shifts to happen. Here is a link to find out more about the VIBE machine. www.vibemachine.com

I know some of you won't believe what you read unless the person who is giving the information has a title after their name but I can assure you, I've done my homework and I have deliberately studied the issues I talk about so that I am more knowledgeable for ME. I do, however, enjoy sharing what I've learned and what I know to be true. I am a teacher! Experience is the best teacher. History is His-story, not every one's story and it should be learned from, not repeated.

IN LOVE, Riox

Science of Characteristics

2009-06-13T17:53:00.000-06:00

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Symbol frequency(more on healing)
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life

As I had said in the previous blog, symbols have their own frequency. What I am referring to are letters and numbers. We tend to take them for granted but really, they are the physical representation of the sounds that we make. Logically, when we speak we produce a frequency, when we write the letter associated with that sound it takes on the same frequency. We put letters together to make a word and the word has its own frequency based on the letters that make up the word.

I learned the Science that explains the definition of each letter of the alphabet. It's called the Christ Science or Science of Characteristics. Quite coincidentally(or was it : ))I met my teacher while working at the VIBE machine. My teacher, Robert, whom I had never met before, gave me a reading of my name at the time just based on the letters that made up my name. I was astounded by how well he knew my characteristics. He knew them because that's what the science is about-the characteristics of each and every letter.

A little background about me. For much of my adult life, I have been on a path of self discovery and improvement. I didn't have a great childhood and it affected me into young adulthood. I was determined to heal myself with whatever methods I could find that I resonated with. I was also interested in finding paths that would work for everyone else too. THIS WAS IT!!

The Science of Characteristics is knowledge that is part of our birthright. As long as we continue to label everything, including ourselves, it makes sense to know the foundation from which all words come from, YES? This Science is that foundation. It is knowledge that has purposefully been kept from us from who-knows-who. It doesn't matter who. What matters is that once again, it is available. It was taught once, 2000 years ago and also back in the 1930's.

When we answer to our label(name)the characteristics go to work. Our thoughts, loves and how we do things are influenced by these characteristics that make up our name.

Numbers are representative of capacities. Every one's birth date has its own vibrational frequency and capacity. There is what is called a True Name that resonates in harmony with each birth date. A name that does not resonate with the birth date creates varying degrees of physical and mental illness. It IS the reason why some people have unexplained dis-ease and mental health issues.

When I got the reading on my name(my old one), I knew instantly I had found what I had been looking for. And, not only would it work for me, it would help EVERYONE else too!

There are 11 lessons that are the foundation of knowledge for the True Name. 11 is the master number of genius. NO ONE is just given a True Name without this foundation. There would be no appreciation for having the True Name without the lessons. As soon as one starts the lesson, change starts to happen.

I flew through the lessons even though I was given as much time as I needed to complete them. I was consumed with passion at the thought that I could finally have the life I wanted and deserved. The Science is very logical and fit in with many things I had already studied.

Changes happen slowly but 3 years ago, I was in a very different position. I had no job, I was a single mom of a very young child and I was at the end of my rope so-to-speak. Today, I have a very good job at a bank that is opening other financial doors, I'm still a single mom but at least now, I'm enjoying it and I have new self confidence and esteem. It's hard to explain all that changes that I have gone through and continue to experience but I believe in the Science 100%. I have not been disappointed.

I teach this Science and it is free BECAUSE it IS knowledge that everyone should have. Not everyone is going to get this...I know that. People have become sheople meaning that they have allowed themselves to be led around by the government, the media and so on. Personally, I don't think that most people are ready for this. I changed my name legally and everything almost 3 years ago and though I have told many people about this, no one has had the courage to go through the lessons and change their name. Most people's lives are not "bad" enough to make them want to do something this drastic and most have an attachment to their names for patriarchal reasons. Also, I think that most people are afraid what their friends and family would think if they did change their names. Fear stops most people from making choices that could help them. For me, all of my friends accepted the change. I'm sure some of my family did not accept it but I don't care. I did what I had to do for me and I'm better for it!

Namaste, Riox

2009-06-13T17:44:00.000-06:00

The Four Laws of Creation
Current mood: contemplative
Category: determined Life

The Four Laws of Creation:

I. The Law of Attraction: Like attracts like. Whatever is in your mind AND your heart, you will attract a like energy or frequency. Sometimes that appears to be an opposition. IE: If you think you are a victim, you will attract one who will victimize you.

II. The Law of Intention: This is the "vehicle" for individual manifestation. Intentionally applying the proper emotion to send with your "order" will increase the speed with which your "order" will manifest.

III. The Law of Allowance: This is a crucial step in the manifestation process. The thought(I) with the proper emotion(II) must be ALLOWED(III) to manifest without the usual worry as to how, when, where etc.

Intelligence is not confined to the human brain/mind. It is part of the potentiality that flows through the process of creation. In other words, thought can think and must be allowed to do so in this process.

What this looks like is: You have a, lets hope, positive thought; one that is for the benefit of all, you add the proper emotion(Gratitude) and you release it to the universe to "let thought think". You wait expectantly and patiently while you continue to make "baby steps" towards you desired goal, having faith and knowing that it is on its way. As soon as you worry at to how, why, when etc., you have just changed the "order" and pushed it away. (Worry says: I don't believe in the process and I need to control how this happens) It is not necessary to control this process. Let it Happen. As long as you have the intentionally used the Laws for the benefit of All, you have nothing to worry about. Conversely, if you have intentionally used them to manipulate, coerce, or cause harm to someone else, LOOK OUT!

IV: The Law of Balance: This Law happens automatically when the first three are applied in HARMONY.

As noted above, you are using the Universal Law of Attraction and its process involves like energy attracting more like energy. If you cause a problem for someone else as a purposeful use of this Law, then what you create for someone else, you also will experience. It is two sides of the same coin. One is presented to the other person and one is presented to you. If one is serious in attempting to understand this Law, then look at the events that have already been experienced and one will see that this has been the case many times. When you have wished a blessing for someone else, you also experienced one, not in exactly the same way, but in something of importance and meaning for you. Then, of course, the opposite is also true. When we wish ill on another and add feelings of jealousy or contempt and that is the focus, we inevitably will experience a "like" experience that we wished on our "enemy".

I have felt the growing need to release this information to the world because of the movie "The Secret". The Secret only tells you about the first Law, the Law of Attraction. It is not complete and people shouldn't think that all they need is positive thoughts. Intention has been and will continue to be the key to this process.

This is a process that works whether you believe in it or not. It's like gravity. It's there and you are constantly being affected by it.

So, the question is, now that you know the "whole story", do you continue to allow yourself to ignore this information or do you bring more consciousness into your mind so that you can use the Laws to benefit the whole.

Everything starts with the individual. It is up to each individual to leave behind the consciousness of victim hood and start using these Laws for their own benefit while keeping in mind the benefit of others and then once it is incorporated into daily life, shift it to a global scale and manifest a new existence, one that works for the good and best for all concerned.

The statement, "for the good and best for all concerned" can be used for everything that is desired on an individual level. No one is left out and it a guarantee that the intention is not of a negative nature.

What I have found in my own experience of using these Laws is that more often than not, what I desire is almost always of a higher frequency than I am able to attract at that moment. Leaps in frequency are possible, but at the present time, there are a myriad of frequencies of a lower nature that keep us from reaching higher frequencies by those leaps and bounds. I have therefore found it necessary to eliminate those lower frequencies that keep me from attaining my "higher" goals.

I feel it is imperative for everyone to do the same if they wish for a "better life". Educate yourself. Take a good look at your life and determine for yourself what may be holding you back. Is it the well-meaning friend that does nothing but complain about how bad their life is? The Laws of Attraction work in EVERY instance. Consciously or not.

I am not perfect. I have fallen and continue sometimes to fall into the same traps that everyone else does with regard to eliminating those things which I deem inappropriate in my life to achieve the goals I have. We still have to live. The way our society is structured(intentionally I might add) prevents us from seeing the truths that we need to recognize if we are to change our own dynamic. Then we need to consciously choose what it is we need change and then do it. All of the distractions we have facing us make that difficult to say the least. Things like TV, cell phones, a job, paying bills, entertainment and I could go on and on. All of these things distract us from seeing what is really going on in our world. Not to mention the careful orchestration of the barrage of lies told to us by the media.

It is not for me to say what everyone else should do, but what I'm doing to continually increase my own frequency so that I may attract that which I know in my heart I want is to consciously take note of those people, situations and things in my life that I feel bring my frequency down and give gratitude to those people, situations and things for showing me what I need to change or be aware of without feeling contempt for those people, situations or things. I find that most of the time, the people will move on, out of my life or I restructure my time so that I do not make time for those people to be in my life. Situations resolve themselves, and the things either disappear on their own or I come to a place where I am able to let them go on my own.

Again, I am a work in progress. So is everyone else! Do not worry if you are trying to make changes in your life and it doesn't manifest quite the way you expect it. We continually manifest situations for our awareness and sometimes for a lesson to learn. We won't stop manifesting the lessons until we "get it". So "get it" and move on!

I wish you the best in understanding how these Laws work. It is my intention that EVERYONE understand and apply these Laws for the good and best for ALL concerned.

Namaste, Riox

Duality

2009-06-13T17:41:00.000-06:00

Monday, April 09, 2007

Living in Fear or Living in Love
Current mood: contemplative
Category: insightful Life

Yesterday, I went to the movies with a friend. We saw 2 movies. The first was "The Last Mimzy" which I highly recommend and the second was "Reign Over Me". At the end of "Reign Over Me", my friend and I started discussing what we liked and what we didn't like about the movie. Without ruining the movie for anyone and to make a long story short, Adam Sandler's character, Charlie, was a victim of losing his family. He remained a victim because the fear of facing his pain kept him from moving through the grieving process and he remained stuck in anger.

I want to make something perfectly clear here. I am not perfect and I have been a victim. What I am about to say, I say from experience and I don't pretend to have ALL the answers. There are many reasons why people become victims but it is not necessary to remain a victim. EVERYTHING IS A CHOICE. Charlie remained a victim until he chose to admit he needed help. That's very hard for a lot of people to do-admit they need help. It's OK to need help. We are not here to do everything ourselves. It is a blessing to have people around us who are willing and able to help us when we need it. The key is to not become dependent on help from the outside. It is the choice we make to become responsible(able to respond to our own needs)that frees us from victim hood. Living in fear of what we are told might happen or what the consequences will be if we tell on someone are what keep us in victim consciousness. Any kind of fear will do that. People live with some kind of fear everyday. It can be very simple as being afraid of running out of gas or something as profound and being told that we would be killed if we tell someone that we have been raped. Taking responsibility is the key to ending victim consciousness.

OK, this is going to be a little hard to swallow and this is what my friend and I argued about. Choices made out of fear are what put us on the path to victim consciousness. It the housewife who gets beaten by her husband everyday because she is afraid to leave him. Her fear is that she won't be able to take care of herself or what will happen to him or a myriad of other things. It doesn't matter what the excuse is, it's a choice made in fear. It isn't until she makes the choice out of love for herself to take responsibility for the choices that she has made that have put her in this position, that she will create a new consciousness for herself. No, she did not choose to be a victim directly. No one says, "I want to be a victim". It's done unconsciously out of fear. There is always some kind of awareness that is present that opens the door for people to change their minds. To choose NOT to be a victim anymore. Choices made in love are the ones that propel us down the path of responsibility and empowerment. It's a choice made in love of oneself.

Here's one of my experiences of being a victim. A few years ago, a friend and I got into an argument about him smoking pot. He was on probation and passing his UA's by taping a bag of someone else's pee onto his body and then using that for the cup. I did not agree with what he was doing and I told him that I wasn't going to help him do it anymore. I also at the point, wanted him out of my house because I couldn't stand living with him anymore. I told him I wanted him to leave and he refused. He told me I was the one who would have to move. I threatened to expose him to his probation officer and tell her everything that he had been doing. I knew exactly what I was doing but what I didn't count on was how he would react. I ended up on the floor of the kitchen with him banging my head against the floor. This happened on a Thursday. On Friday, he apologized to me but I understood that I could not let this happen again. (This is not the first time something like this had happened and it had gotten worse every time). For the next 3 days, I talked with trusted friends and family about what to do, knowing that if I went to the police, he would go to jail. On Monday morning, I made the choice to tell the police about our altercation. I did this out of love for both of us. In love of myself because I would not accept being victimized and in love of him because I recognized and understood his fears that caused him to make the choice to hurt me. I also recognized his inability to channel his anger appropriately that allowed him to "snap" and do what he did. He is not normally this way and I know that. I know that the choice I made to threaten him with his probation officer was in fear of him continuing to live with us or having to move myself and is why I became a victim of his anger. I also know that his choice to hurt me was made in fear of what the consequences would be if I said anything is what made him a victim of the judicial system. It took us over a year to get through that and I immediately took responsibility for what I had done that sent him to jail. He was not so willing to accept responsibility for what he did. I told him, everything is a choice. You either make a choice out of fear, which will ultimately lead you down the path of victimization or you make the choice out of love and follow the path of responsibility(having the ability to respond to your own needs). Eventually his did accept his responsibility for his half of our altercation. But this person has always had a problem accepting responsibility for anything. He does not understand that accepting responsibility is empowering. He understands it as having to work and he doesn't like to work. Being responsible means being able to respond to your own needs and owning what is yours.

Since that time, he has had some anger management classes which he was not given a choice to comply with and he admits it helped him. He is also living back here with us but he is actually helping with the rent and things around the house. I know that another situation like that will not ever happen again. Not only because he has new tools to work with in managing his anger but because I was offered a weekend self defense course that I took. I made the choice in love of myself that I did not want to remain a victim to take responsibility for my own defense and learn how to defend myself. It was very empowering indeed! I am no longer afraid that someone will be able to take advantage of me because I have new knowledge of how to take care of myself and I know how to use it! Knowledge by itself in not power, applied knowledge is power. And it's not about having power over someone else. That is an illusion. No one has power over you unless you allow them to. All you have to do is respond with NO! It occurs to me that someone could say that I made the choice to take the self defense class out of fear of being hurt again. This is where it can be confusing to people. The are only two choices. One choice will empower you, the other will empower someone else. The one made in love will empower you, the one made in fear will empower someone else who may victimize you in the future. My choice was made in love of myself to empower me and refuse to be a victim. Had I not made the choice to do that, I would have made no choice and maybe allowed someone to victimize me in the future. Choosing not to do something is still a choice. That is often the case for most people and the underlying fear is moving out of the comfort zone they have created for themselves.

So, here we are again on the same but different path to try once again to accept each other as we are and to live in harmony with each other. Something changed because it's working. It still don't have the desire to have a romantic relationship with him for other reasons(mostly his lack of responsibility)but I am able to accept him the way he is and we compromise on the housework and rent. He also knows that him living here is just temporary until he can get his feet under him.

I don't toot my own horn but I am very happy with the changes that I see in my life and his. It is something to be proud of when you can look at the past and see where you have been and then look at where you are now and realize that changes that have taken place for the better!

I am realizing some other recent wonderful changes in my life also but that is another blog.

So this is some simple advice, when you have a choice, think about where your thoughts are coming from. Are they coming from fear or love? It isn't always easy to recognize. Our egos have a way of making us think that what we decide is from love. You must think about the consequences of either choice. Which one will empower you and which one will cause you to be a victim. Being a victim can come from a simple choice. So can empowerment. And remember choosing to do nothing is still a choice and more than likely is the one that will NOT empower YOU.

I love all of you and it is my wish that people bring more consciousness to their choices. It's only a few seconds of contemplation between being a victim or not.

This is an add: We are the creators of our lives. Things don't happen to us. They happen because of the (un)conscious choices we have made. This is hard for most people to accept when they don't get what they want because they don't see how their (un)conscious choice was made in fear. By bringing more awareness to your choices, you are responding to yourself and consequently, you will more likely make a choice from love. It is the Law of Attraction at work. What you think about, you bring about. It is irrefutable. The time is now to respond to yourself, love yourself and do what is best for YOU! Getting out of your comfort zone will not kill you, it will show you a different path, one that will ultimately empower you. Everyday you wait is another day lived in some kind of fear. Do not wait for something to come from the outside! You have the power within you to create what it is you want most, NOW.

IN LOVE, Riox

Some background on me

2009-06-13T17:38:00.000-06:00

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Profound Changes
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

This is the time for changes, is it not?

A little background on me. I have always been a truth seeker and I have always sought ways to make me a better person for me and for others. I grew up in an abusive environment, mostly emotional and verbal. I've heard, "you'll never amount to anything" and "you can't do anything right". I allowed myself to believe those things because the person telling me was an authority figure. I do not condemn how I was brought up because it made me angry enough to want to rise above it. Hence my desire to be a better person and that meant healing my emotional wounds.

It has been a long journey with some pitfalls here and there. I always got back on my feet to try again to succeed. I also do not condemn the pitfalls because without them, I would not have learned some valuable lessons. I realize that everything that I would term a negative experience in my life only made me stronger; emotionally, mentally and spiritually. My path has been one of much discernment of many choices. I have quite often made "mistakes" with regard to choices I needed to make because I didn't take the time to listen to my quieter, inner voice or to pay attention to the feelings I had. Our bodies never lie to us. Our bodies always know the truth in any situation. In a previous blog, now in the archive, I mention learning how to listen to your body. It has been called "focusing". You can train yourself to listen to your body using benchmarks that you can remember where you did listen to your body(gut feelings) and possibly prevented a negative experience from happening. At least the "mistakes" I made allowed me to see what I did NOT want! lol

I think I would have to say that when I went into the military after high school was when I started on the path I'm on now. Progress for me was slow and didn't accelerate until I came to Colorado, where I was born. I want to think that it was coming back to my roots that accelerated my progress. Boulder is really the only place I've lived where I feel I belong. I think it's because Boulder is a gathering place for original ideas that are harmonious in nature(B-O-U). With a heart interest in life, love, learning and laws(L). People do things with practicality and effort, carefully and thoroughly(D-E-R). It also helps that we live on the 40th parallel(Baseline Rd). I wonder if you knew that? .

Every one's path is different and what works for one will work for some but not all. For most of my life, I have had an addiction to sugar. From what I know about sugar, after reading "The Sugar Blues". We eat too much. It makes out bodies acidic; when we are supposed to be alkaline, and then our immune systems cannot recognize foreign invaders because they have mutated in order to live in the acid environment. Even though I have been mostly healthy, I wanted to kick the addiction. Since I have been in Colorado, I have had an addiction to marijuana. Even though it is a natural plant and we have receptors in our brains specifically for marijuana, it is too easily abused mainly because our government would rather not take the time to teach us how to use it properly(not that they really know)so they just take it away from us and make it illegal which creates more problems. I had wanted to quit for a long time but my excuse was that I used it for stress and it was too easily accessible. I have had other tools to use for stress but it was easier to smoke a little pot-it worked faster. I also could see how it took away my motivation to do what I needed to do for myself and was a controlling factor in my behavior. I made a decision(in love of myself) to stop once and for all. I have made that decision many times. I realized that I need some help in finally kicking the habit. With divine timing, because I REALLY wanted to quit, I found an add on the bulletin board of my favorite health food store for a hypnotherapist. There was one number left on a tear-off so I took it. She was also offering her services for free until she practiced enough hours. It was meant to be. We get along great and she has helped me overcome both addictions! I know that because I was serious about quitting both addictions, that I had asked for assistance in finding someone to help me and that I also needed services to be affordable that I found Raven.

Three weeks ago yesterday, I came down with something that triggered a HUGE detox in my body. I couldn't even think about food, much less look at it or I felt sick. I also didn't want to smoke anything because of the way I felt. I couldn't eat anything except drink some tea and water for the first week. The second week, my lungs started cleaning house and I coughed up the nastiest stuff I have ever seen come out of my lungs. I did my best to spit it out. I was able to eat but my stomach had shrunk so much that I could only eat small amounts. I was aware of two things, one, I couldn't stand the smell of burning pot anymore and two, my tastes had changed so that I couldn't eat anything with a lot of sugar in it! This was amazing to me! I'm still in a little shock that I have accomplished what I wanted to do with hypnotherapy. It was 3 weeks yesterday that I haven't had any smoke and I can look at candy or anything with sugar in it and not want it! I did take my son to a birthday party yesterday and even though I didn't eat any cake I had some sweets and it took me forever to eat it! I feel I can now still feed my sweet tooth but not go overboard. I could even eliminate sugar out of my diet and I'd be OK with that. I noticed that the natural sugars(fruit, agave, honey and stevia)I can deal with. It's the processed sugar that I don't want anymore. And I was the one who always asked for the corner piece of cake because it had the most frosting! lol

I can hear people now, "I can't believe she told us she smoked pot!" YEAH! I'm in Boulder! Ha Ha. Actually I know a quite few people who don't. I feel that if I can tell people what I've gone through, I can make it OK for other people to open up and share their stories. It helps us all. There's nothing wrong with smoking pot, just educate yourself first as to what it can do before you experiment blindly. I would say that about any drug. Heh, we all have our foibles, vices, problems etc. Why try to deny it? I had some great revelations while being "stoned" and solved some problems here and there. I just allowed it to control me instead of me being in control. And I just feel I don't need it anymore. I have other tools in my arsenal to help me with stress or problems or thinking outside my box.?

So anyway, I feel I've come a long way from where I was when I first came to Boulder in '94. I embrace every experience because it brought me to where I am now. I love where I am in life.

A note here. I did many "scripts" with Raven, my hypnotherapist. What she is studying has it's roots in Buddhism. She doesn't wave a watch in front of me and make me "fall asleep" and she hasn't ever made me cluck like a chicken, that I know of. Seriously, I was always aware of what she was saying. What happened was that having trust in her, I allowed her into my subconscious to help me "re-program" myself to be the way I wanted to be. We did a stress script, a self esteem and success script and more recently a creativity script. Patience is needed as sometimes things have to "percolate" in the subconscious before change happens. My serious desire for change in myself led me to her. I don't think this would work for everyone but it will work for some.

I can honestly say that the work I have done with Raven has put me on the fast track to becoming the person I want to be. Most of my negative thoughts have subsided so I'm very aware of them when I do have them. I am more at peace. I have virtually no stress and I have more love for myself and fellow man. I would encourage all who read this to be open to the myriad of pathways that are available to us for growth and change. You never know what might work for you!

Who I am

2009-06-13T17:20:00.001-06:00

I AM Riox Rheigh Frosher. I want to start out by posting some blogs from my my space account that does not exist anymore. It will give all of you quite a bit to read while I am formulating what else I would like to write.

Monday, April 23, 2007

What is attractive
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Happy Life

Very recently I have had some attention come my way; I'm sure because of the pic I have up. The emails I received from one gentleman inspired me do some self contemplation and consequently, write this blog.

I feel that everything I write has connections to everything else. IE: my previous blog about changes going on within myself. I have known for a long time that I am a lightworker. I've always felt "different" from other people and "out of place" until I came to Boulder. Boulder has been my residence for the last 12 years and I've been here the longest of anywhere that I've lived. Forgive me here: I am going to cut and paste a definition of what a Lightworker is for those of you who are unaware. I just think it is well said.

The Lightworkers' Identity
Lightworkers are souls who carry the strong inner desire to spread Light (knowledge, freedom and self-love) on earth. They sense this as their mission. They are often attracted to spirituality and to therapeutic work of some kind.

Because of their deeply felt mission, lightworkers often feel different from other people. By experiencing different kinds of obstacles on their way, life provokes them to find their own, unique path. Lightworkers nearly always are solitary individuals, not fitting into fixed societal structures.

A note on the notion of `lightworker'

The word `lightworker' may evoke misunderstanding, since it lifts out a particular group of souls from the rest. In addition, it may be taken to suggest that this particular group is somehow superior to the others, i.e. those `not working for the light'. This whole line of thought is at odds with the very nature and intent of lightwork. Let us state briefly what is wrong with it.

First, claims of superiority are generally unenlightened. They block your growth toward a free and loving consciousness. Second, Lightworkers are not `better' or `higher' than anyone else. They simply have a different history than the ones not belonging to this group. Because of this particular history, which we will discuss below, they have certain psychological characteristics which distinguish them as a group.

Third, every soul becomes a lightworker at some stage of its unfolding, so the label `lightworker' is not reserved to a limited number of souls.

The reason we use the word "lightworker" (despite possible misunderstandings) is because it carries associations and stirs memories within you that help you remember. There is a practical convenience to it as well, since the term is frequently used in your current spiritual literature.

**There is more to be said about lightworkers~their characteristics, but I only want to help people understand (here) what one is to understand me a little more.

So, I know that the reason I went through the detox period that I did was to prepare my body for receiving more light and to prepare me for the shift that is imminent for humanity as a whole.(2012) Right now, our planet is receiving more light to counteract the dark that is currently working against us right now. With receiving more light comes a shift in consciousness which I am experiencing. Also, I go through a period of adjustment that isn't always easy. This evolution that I'm going through must happen in stages(at least for me) to allow my body and mind to adjust accordingly. A note here: I am not the only one going through this evolution but sharing my experience may shed light on others as to why certain unexplainable? events are happening to them.

OK, to get back to the original purpose for this blog: The shift in consciousness that I am going through is triggered by different things. I don't always know by what. This time, though, the emails I received from this gentleman triggered my self contemplation. Basically, he started by telling me how attracted to me he was and after a few more emails and me asking him to be honest about his motivation, he was honest and told me that he wanted to experience me sexually. I appreciated his honesty but I did not address his statement. I started thinking about how I have been in the past~allowing myself to not only enjoy the compliments I received but sometimes acting on them. IE: accepting invitations for sex. This has been somewhat of a pitfall for me because I didn't take into account the person in the body. If I was interested and attracted to the outer shell, I accepted. I am also aware that way back when, I was somewhat insecure with myself and thought that by having sex with someone, I would be loved. Of course that stemmed from the emotional abuse I put up with as a child that caused me to look outside of myself for validation and love.

Contemplating all of this brought me to a realization that is also connected to seeing someone that I hadn't seen in a long time at the Kan'Nal show this last Friday night (4/20). I used to work with this person a long time ago. He was maybe 19 or 20 at the time and I didn't have a physical attraction to him at that time. He also did not seem to be a very happy person or maybe he was just not in a good place in his life. Well, I saw him at the show and I immediately felt an attraction. It wasn't that his physical appearance had really changed all that much except that he had had braces on his teeth. The attraction that I felt was coming from within him, but I was aware of being physical attracted as well. We got to talk for a bit and he told me that he was loving what he was doing for work. I could tell that he was genuinely happy! His inner light made him more attractive on the outside! I actually thought of asking him if he was single and giving him my number. I decided not to do this because I do have a relationship that is kind of "up in the air" and I need to see where this is going to go, if anywhere, before I make myself available to anyone else.

My realization was that even though I have been aware for quite some time and experienced "the light coming from within to make the person more attractive on the outside", I had yet to experience it into wisdom, which I have done. It isn't until we contemplate the experiences that we have and we have a shift in consciousness happen that wisdom is incorporated.

The work that I have consciously done for myself and the healing that has taken place has allowed the shift in my consciousness to occur. I no longer look outside myself for love or validation. I know that I have everything I need within myself. The wisdom incorporated means that I will still allow myself to be attracted to the shell(body) but I no longer feel the need to immediately act on my attraction. I am now more attracted to what I feel coming from within that shell and allow that feeling to be my guide when creating relationships with people(or not).

This is a very recent revelation for me and I am grateful to the gentleman and my friend from Kan'Nal for bringing me to a place of contemplation so that I would create the wisdom I needed for change.

THANK YOU!!

IN LOVE, RIOX

Namaste